Mixed feelings

This month has already entailed a roller coaster of emotions!

Since a very lengthy and stressful process to get my passport back from immigration at the end of last month, my thoughts and feelings have certainly been all over the place.

On Monday the 3rd of April I began a 26 hour flight back to New Zealand. I was flying back to be the maid of honour in my sisters wedding which was at the weekend. This made me happy but also quite nervous. After only being in Timor for 6 weeks I was not sure how I would react to being home. Although I knew I was really enjoying my time over in Timor so far, of course I was missing things, mostly people, in New Zealand. I was scared that coming home would make me realise I missed it more than I thought.

Sediment loaded river flowing into the sea after rain

I arrived in New Zealand at 9 pm on the Tuesday night and having not been able to sleep was completely exhausted. My boyfriend picked me up from the airport where it was a mere 8 degrees. It was such a good feeling to see him and the rest of my family when I got home.

Over the next few days I caught up with a lot of people and did various things to get ready for the wedding-hair, nails etc. It honestly felt like I had never left (except from the millions of questions everyone was asking) and it felt like I was going to be there for more than 5 days. I tried to make the most of my time back making sure I was with someone as much as possible. Although I love that everyone had so many questions I also found it very hard to explain things to them as I know it is so hard to understand without actually physically being somewhere.

On Friday night, Beki, the bride to be, her daughter, her other bridesmaid and I stayed over night in a house they had hired so we could all get ready together. Saturday was such a magical day as we all got our hair and makeup done before putting on our dresses and shoes ready to go to the venue. The ceremony was beautiful, so personalised and well thought through it was an hounor to be a part of. After taking many different photos around the grounds with the bridal party it was time to go inside as the married couple was announced for the first time. The cake was cut and speeches done, and although I was happy to share my stories/feelings- I definitely learnt that if ever asked again wedding speeches aren’t my thing..

After dinner there was a lot of catching up with family I hadn’t seen in a while which was really cool to get to do. Also we got to listen to my friend who has the most magical voice sing throughout the night. On Sunday there was a family BBQ and I just spent more time catching up with family

Sunday night quickly rolled around and it was time to say goodbye again. This time it was much harder as I knew I wouldn’t see most people again this year. I find it especially hard saying goodbye to people who aren’t family because I know that my family will always be there, no matter what and distance isn’t going to change that.

Sunset over Australia

The trip back was a lot longer but I got to sleep with 2 overnight stays in Auckland and Bali. I got back Tuesday afternoon and found out that my work is closed Wednesday Thursday and Friday for the Easter break. If I had known this before booking tickets then maybe I would have stayed in New Zealand longer! But then again I’m sure I will get up to some pretty cool adventures this weekend which is what this year is about and I’m definitely trying to make the most of it!

Overall I am glad I could come home as it was good to see everyone and to be able to share such a special day with my sister. But I also think that it will make the coming months harder as last time I knew it wasn’t long until I went back. Getting to come home was a great opportunity as it was funded by my amazing mum. It also made me miss everything a whole lot more so I won’t be rushing home again.​



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